27 June 2012

crystal clear ;D

that's what i need in making the best friendship in the world

well...we always having the best moment.....many times...until we could not imagine how good we are before...
we always making all of us laughing when one of us creating a joke,,,although we knew that it was a stupid one, we still laugh at it
because, we know that we need each other through more or less..

one thing for sure...i miss those moments..

when it comes to the awkward things,, we all keep silent and looking each other and laugh again ;D
hahahahha...that's what we are before

now....on 26/06/2012

we all separated
it's all turned up side down..
its seems like we never know each other in the pass

the different things now is,,, we are silently being fake and trying to move on like we normally does before....long time ago
we try to give a fake shake
we act like a fake clowns
and we try to create a fake smile in front of each other

why it should be like that???

it is because we know something and we hide it
or it is because we heard something bad about someone inside our small group @ a box and keep saying that, "it was nothing actually"...
or it is because we felt jealousy to someone in the box and pretend that, "its ok, no offense"

we did something right and we also did something wrong...
we share everything before...
we might being the best besties in the world by saying that, "we can live together as ONE!"

but...its a fucking embarrassing bullshit statement..
we should not saying that unless, we all must noticed about the meaning of the friendship among us

should you and i noticed that from the beginning or not???

the first thing you should do is 'talk'
whatever it is
whenever it held
we must talk...

you tell the truth
i will tell the truth
you hide it....me also hide it from you..

the truth is everything...
the truth will convert to the solution that we all need..

tonight,,, i let my ego down and planning to have that important conversation with all of us,,
but,,,what happend???
try to runaway and making things longer....heavier....more complicated and better stupid bloody motherfucker problems when we meet those eyes and faces

yaaa...i know..all of you guys reading this..
but please...we need a solution..not a problem anymore..

face it....talk about it...let all be as clear as crystal..
that's what a friend in need does and in deed do...

i love all of us...whether we all ms-communicate or fights for nothing
we are not at war...
cause we are "friends" forever...

for you....and you and you again,, so do you...
do not let those secrets inside..
do not let others talked about how stupid we are
and do not let us teared apart by not telling the truth and stuffs

ask first,,,,interpret the problems...let each other talk and find THE solution to feel the same best moments and times as before...
that's what we need

just to be clear...every single thing you and you and you did its really freaking annoying and better yet, its disgust me every time i think about it

cause its all fake and fake and you, you,you,you and you are truly best fakers in the entire universe

what i need is a clear explanation, words, contents, confessions and feelings to make this relationship lasting

last but not least.....
im not be able to seeing you guys within these days,, cause have a lot to do...
and i always love "you", the ONE that i need to talk with about everything that you hide from me and our friend...
YOU,,, please,,,let us know what you hide and what you keep away from us...

be kind not cruel

noticed this friend,,, i rather keeping you forever than losing you in a blink of and eye ;D


13 June 2012

missing my heart and souls....who wants to fill it back???

you? or you right there sitting in front of my pinky bloggie??...

can you be with me as a friend? of course yes right.. why not...

but,,who want to fill my heart this time?...

you know what..its hard to fill a broken heart ..
there were some girls tries to fill in me...
tries to persuade me with all the flowery, magically, extraordinary and beautiful words..
but they can't... im sure they can't..

once and for all...i made up my mind..
im really want to be single...
as long as i could be
as much as i could see
and as far as i could possibly walking alone by myself..

lat thing i do is to love you
yes! last thing i do too is to leaving you!..for sure im doing it right now
last thing i remember i was beaten by you on this one florescent(just came out from my head..haha) evening..
you beat me like im no longer yours..
you beat me like you never regret and repent..
you beat me cause you never tried to control your anger and temper!
for God sake!!! you blew it!....!!!!

she, Z, try to persuade me with all her hearts
promise to not let me down..
encourage me that, i am good enough and beautiful enough for her
cares for me like im the Queen
let me notice that she always keep her eyes on me while im sitting and walking around her
but,, you know what Z,,
you just met me about 2 days, alright?
only 2 days, all the sudden, you promised everything to me
that is not what i ask for
and that is not what i want in a relationship
you are 34yrs...you must be matured
right after i rejected your proposal...
you are not only tried to avoid me,,,but you are also avoiding them????
what the hell are you think you're doing dear???.....
such a *&^%#^7*

the Z person are not only a friend of mine, but an enemy =)
im not the one who started.. she's doing it and she needs to be calm without letting us know that you still want us to be around you...
fuck you bitch!
i meant it for you "psycho"

next, she, F..
she was introduced by my friends, A and J...and also M,,,
they knew my sadness and losing grip situation...
and they want me to find a new one,,
new best one...
the F person, most likely look a like Wahid senario...
and she is 24yrs..
and she is nice and warm person..
quite shy and most of all, she worked as RELA at JPAM...huhuh
at first, i want to her to be my scandal..but,,,i thought about something...
im not ready yet so...i introduced her to one of my ladies friends, X.
and F likes her and now they are getting together as couple after know about 1 day and a half through the phone.. =.=''

what is the best thing i will do right now?
although i want you, the one that i hoped for and the one that i chased for this semester,,,
i know you wont be back to me...with the "Just Go" songs and lyrics,
im sure that you have found the one....a new girl perhaps  ;)

ok, last but not least
at least you know what i felt right now
cause all the typing stuffs that had been written in my blog
they all came through my little heart,,,deep inside...

so long and goodbye


07 June 2012

three dots ( . . . )

the more time i spend with my friends at OldTown... the more i knew and recognize the way they acts, the way they talk,, how sincere they are and how bad they were  =(

we all acting like a family...
family never care less
they even care more about others...
i love them
although we are not in a different shoes and different races...
but we are still have one heart =)